Relationships and feeling loved are essential parts of life. However, not all relationships improve our lives. In fact, some relationships just aren’t good for us and we can notice some red flags.
Red flags are often a cause of a toxic and unhealthy relationship. However, relationship red flags aren’t always easy to identify.
Before getting into a potentially unhealthy relationship, it’s important to be aware and understand red flags that you should never ignore.
What Are Red Flags in Relationships?
Red flags are warning signs that indicate unhealthy or manipulative behavior.
Relationship red flags are warning signs that demonstrate toxic, unhealthy, and manipulative behavior. Since many red flags are not always recognizable early on, they can be dangerous as they will grow bigger over time. It’s important to identify warning signs to avoid a toxic and unhealthy relationship.
In this post, I shared 12 relationship red flags that should never be ignored.
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12 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore
1. Controlling Behavior from the Start
Controlling behavior is a red flag typically identified at the beginning of a relationship. If you’re with someone who wants to control your beliefs, movements, and decisions, then that’s a major red flag.
In a functional relationship, one person does not control another person’s actions. Healthy relationships consist of understanding and compromising on differences.
A sign that someone is displaying controlling behavior is when they try to dictate what you wear, where you go, and who you hang out with.
2. Substance Abuse
A common place that people meet nowadays is in bars and clubs. An issue that you may run into if you meet your partner in a party environment is substance abuse issues.
Whether it’s drinking issues or drug use, getting into a relationship with someone with addiction issues is a red flag you want to avoid at all costs. Chances are someone dealing with substance abuse will be unstable, which can lead to an unhealthy relationship.
You can identify this issue early on by seeing how they act when you’re out together. If your partner is overdrinking or doing drugs, this is a red flag and somebody you’ll want to avoid.
3. Lack of Trust
Trust is one of the fundamental foundations of a healthy relationship. Lack of trust is a common red flag, and it will lead to an unstable relationship.
It’s normal to have doubts. However, those doubts should never stop you from trusting your partner, especially if they’ve never given you a reason not to trust them.
Since trust is a key component of a functional relationship, trust needs to go both ways.
4. Someone Who Brings You Down
It’s important to be with somebody that lifts you up instead of bringing you down.
If your partner gives you low self-esteem, you’re likely in an unhealthy relationship. It’s important that your partner loves, supports, and uplifts you.
In toxic relationships, it’s common for a partner to bring down the other to make themselves feel better. This red flag is important to identify early on as it can have major effects on one’s mental health.
5. Codependency
Codependency, also known as “relationship addiction,” is a common red flag in relationships. This red flag can stunt personal growth and alienate friendships.
Codependency often happens naturally in a relationship. When two people hang out around each other a lot, they naturally begin to rely on each other for psychological, physical, and emotional support.
This red flag can be harder to identify, but it’s certainly one that you want to avoid.
6. Being Secretive
Being secretive is a red flag that can be identified early on in a relationship. If you’re with someone who is very secretive, you are setting yourself up to be in an unhealthy relationship.
Trust and openness are essential to a relationship, so you’ll want to avoid being with a secretive partner, as this will only grow into a bigger issue.
7. Lack of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is an important part of being in a relationship.
If you’re with someone lacking emotional intelligence, they may have issues perceiving and managing emotions. Individuals lacking emotional intelligence will struggle with understanding their emotions and showing empathy.
This can lead to unnecessary conflicts, frequent misunderstandings, and manipulative behaviors.
8. Anger Management Issues
Anger management issues are a major red flag that is detrimental to relationships. You may feel unsafe or threatened during a conflict if your partner has manager management issues.
A fundamental part of being in a relationship is being able to express yourself without having to worry about your safety. If your partner uses fear as an intimidation tactic, these are clear signs of an unhealthy relationship.
9. Lack of Friends
It’s important to have friends when you’re in a relationship. If your partner has no friends, this can become a major issue as the relationship progresses.
It’s not just okay, it’s healthy to spend some time away from your partner to hang out with your friends. Whether it’s watching a sports game with the boys or having a wine night with the girls, these moments of independence are essential to a thriving relationship.
We’ve all known that person who cut off all of their friends once they got into a relationship. Typically, that friend comes back for support when there’s a breakup.
Maintaining and making time for friendships is a key part of having a healthy relationship.
10. Communication Issues
Communication is a key component of a healthy relationship. This common red flag can typically be identified early on in a relationship, and it will evolve into something bigger.
Some people can struggle with communication, as losing control, confrontation, and vulnerability can be intimidating. These fears must be overcome, and your partner must be willing to communicate.
If you’re with someone who just isn’t willing to communicate, this can be a huge warning sign.
11. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a popular manipulation tactic and a clear red flag in any relationship. This form of manipulative abuse can be detrimental to a relationship and make you question your judgments or sanity.
Those who have been gaslighter are made to feel guilty, even if they did not do anything wrong. Gas lighting is a major red flag that should be avoided in any relationship.
12. Someone Who Is Not Ready for a Relationship
At times, you may feel like you met the perfect partner. However, if they’re not ready for a relationship, it’ll be a real challenge to make it work, and you’re setting yourself up to get hurt.
A common mistake that people make is forcing a relationship to work when the other person just isn’t ready. This will lead to an unhealthy relationship and inevitable heartbreak.
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Final Thoughts On Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore
Although there are other red flags, this article covers the most important ones. Ultimately, it’s super important for you to trust your intuition and walk away from a partner who displays these red flags.
In some relationships, it might be worth taking the steps to fix your bond. However, if your partner shows no signs of changing, it’s probably best to walk away from the dysfunctional relationship.
If you find yourself struggling with what to do, seeking professional help from a therapist or relationship counselor can be very helpful.